Saturday, April 29, 2017

Mom Life.

So being a mom of two was and still is a whole new thing to me. I still find myself asking am I doing the mom thing right? I say this because there are days where coffee isn't even enough. And if your the kind of parent like I am you will understand. I am a mom of two who are on the Autism spectrum.

Upon finding out the diagnosis for both children, I feel like it has made me a stronger mother. Yes days can be incredibly hard, but in the end they're absolutely worth every little struggle. I have found out who are really my friends and who certain family members really are after finding this out about my children.

Now keep in mind this is not a negative post, this is just me giving others an insight on my life with my cubs.

When I first got the news about Scott, I had no idea what to think. I was one of those women who thought "This could never happen to me." but it did and I did just about everything I could do to learn about Autism Spectrum Disorder. So scoping the internet wasn't helpful due to me finding random articles that were less than positive when it came to the topic. After enrolling Scott into various different therapies I notice a big difference. He went from a quiet, non verbal 4 year old to a somewhat social butterfly. Gracie was enrolled for speech because she was almost 3 and still hadn't spoke a word.

Shortly after enrolling her into speech, her therapist had recommended that we have her evaluated. At that very moment my heart felt like it was shattered. I'll sound selfish saying this, but in my mind at the time was how was this even possible to have two with the same disorder? You'll be surprised at how common this is. We soon had Gracie evaluated and sure enough she fell on the spectrum. I had the reaction you'd think. I kept questioning was it something I did for this to happen to my children? Was it because I would forget to take my prenatal vitamins? Did I sleep on the wrong side? Was it because I didn't eat health and breastfeed them? what did I do wrong?

The child development department had reassured me that it was none of those things and that the whole medical field was still unsure of what causes autism. At the time it wasn't a good enough answer. I needed an explanation. However I still haven't got the answer to that and its ok. I've learned a lot since that day.

Today I sit here writing this while the cubs are watching Moana. They have come a long way. Scott is now talking even though his vocabulary isn't up to everyone else's standards. Gracie is communicating with us as well, but not in the way you would think. She is signing! Now I don't know about you, but that is just about the most exciting thing for me as a mom. The little things that others feel are just little things to others, are such big things to me. A lot of my friends are currently sharing how their children went fishing with them or some other awesome activity, and I'm over here excited that Scott let me put paint on his hands! Small wins my friends. You're doing awesome as parent too. I love seeing how your littles grow.

Becoming a mom has been a wild ride, but becoming a mom to these amazing children has been an absolute blessing. There are days that are I think "how am I going to do this?' and there are days where I think " how can this get any better?" I know if you were to walk into my house and see Scott on his Ipad surrounded by his collection of Peppa pig figures and see Gracie build a fort out of her collection of stuffed my little pony dolls and think "Oh my, this is a mad house!" But I know that those things are what keep them happy. And that's all that I could ever want for them is their happiness.

Until next time, Stacy <3


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